Unconventional
by rationalbookworm
Summary: A series of one shots. Life of the Avengers according to the Military Alphabet. Goes over friendships, relationships, ups and downs, and just plain mayhem that follows the Avengers.
1. Alpha

**So I was planning on using the military alphabet for my Sherlock Lost and Found Series (and I still plan on it) but then this came to me and wouldn't leave me alone, so I quickly wrote it down before work. Not sure how well it turned out and it's nothing more than a drabble, really. Still it's there.**

**The title won't stay, but i don't have time to think of a good one right now. promise to change it later when i do.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. At all. Disappointing.**

She should have known something like this would happen. They _all_ should have known it would happen. It was only to be expected when you stick a handful of testosterone filled superheroes in a tower and demand they play nice.

At first it had been nice. Bruce and Tony mostly kept to themselves in the lab while Steve went out to find out more about what happened to all his old buddies, Clint and Natasha went out on a mission for SHEILD, and Thor (after taking Loki back to Asgard) returned to "his Jane" with the intention of bringing her back to New York with him. Pepper had loved the quiet sort of peace that came with living in the Tower.

Then Thor returned with Jane and Pepper found a friend and someone who could (occasionally) keep up with Tony and Bruce's science rambles. And she'd always loved the big, tenderhearted demi-god or whatever he was. So the peace continued.

Then Steve came back, broken hearted and drained. Not all of his past friends' stories had been nice or happy and a little part of the team's unofficial leader had been crushed at the news. Pepper and Jane had taken it upon themselves to cheer him up. Hours of movies and multiple tubs of ice cream later, they got him to crack a smile, though he continued to seem a little downtrodden for quite a while. Still, the peace persisted.

And then Clint and Natasha returned, bruised and beaten but thoroughly pleased with themselves. The mission had been labeled classified, so none of the Avengers actually ever got the full story, and Pepper wasn't sure she really wanted to know. Natasha and Jane were so different from one another, it was strange how well they actually got along when the three girls went out for weekly (much needed) girls nights out. And so the peace continued…

…for about a month.

Pepper, Jane, and Natasha had returned from a girls weekend (because one night just wasn't enough sometimes) at a spa resort. Natasha had been reluctant at first but quickly gave in when the Antonio Banderas look alike walked into the room for her massage. They were all still grinning lazily as they slumped against the walls of the elevator taking them up to the top floor of Avengers Tower – the main living area of the superheroes.

Those smiles quickly vanished the second they stepped out to loud explosions echoing from somewhere on the floor followed by raucous yelling accompanied by an occasional booming laugh. Scowling, Pepper marched her way to the lab, followed closely by the other females. She just _knew_ the lab would be the source of all this commotion.

Sure enough the lab looked like a warzone. She groaned as she spotted several large scorch marks on the walls and at least two vehicles in several misshapen pieces. Natasha swore and Jane sighed in exasperation as Jarvis opened the glass door for them to enter.

The first person Pepper spotted was Phil Coulson leaning against a work table, arms crossed as he gazed disinterestedly at the scene unfolding before him. Said scene was what made the redhead freeze in her tracks, stunned silent and gaping like a fish. Tony was in his Iron Man suit, firing at Steve who was redirecting the shots with his shield, hence the destroyed laboratory and explosions. Clint was laying on the ground a few feet away with Mjolnir resting innocently on his chest as he struggled to lift it so he could get up while Thor stood by, throwing his head back in laughter. The only one missing was Bruce, who Pepper spotted a second later, huddled in the corner, trying desperately to stay calm.

"What…what…" she really couldn't form a sentence right now.

"The hell?" Natasha summed up for her.

"We've come across a little unforeseen problem," Coulson said calmly, as if the Earth's Mightiest Heroes _weren't_ trying to kill each other right in front of his eyes as he spoke. At Pepper's raised eyebrow he clarified, "Too many alpha males in one home."

Natasha muttered something in Russian and rolled her eyes.

Jane muttered sarcastically, "Great."

Pepper placed her clenched fists on her hips and stepped forward, affectively halting Tony's attempts at Steve's life. Noticing this, Thor sheepishly took his hammer off Clint's chest, smiling apologetically at Jane as the sniper jumped up. Bruce finally came out of his hiding place to stand behind the other females who had furious expressions on their faces to match Pepper's.

"Anyone care to explain?" Pepper asked in a tone she would use while scolding a child. All four men opened and closed their mouths several times with no noise coming out. "Of course not. Well, in all honesty, I don't really care why or how it started, but I'm finishing it. There will be no more epic fights to the death in this tower. Got it?" There was a murmur of consent. "Great. Now, I had planned to have a nice big dinner with everyone, but since you all decided to act like five-year-olds, Natasha, Jane, and I will be taking Phil and Bruce out while you four clean this mess up. And no, Jarvis cannot help. It better be spotless when we get back here."

With that, all three females turned as one and left the lab, followed tentatively by the agent and scientist. As they got into the limo Pepper ordered using Tony's card, Phil chuckled, "Well, at least that solves that problem." Everyone gave him confused looks. "We all found out just who the real Alpha is."


	2. Bravo

**As you probably noticed, I changed the title. I'm still not 100% happy, but I'll probably leave it. **

**Anywho, here's Bravo. This one I had a lot of fun coming up with, even if it didn't turn out exactly as I planned.**

**Disclaimer: Tony says he has all the rights to the Avengers. I think he's lying, but I have no way to prove it.**

Tony jumped in his seat as Pepper's hand collided with the back of his head, startling him out of a doze just as a new performance was about to begin. He quickly wiped the drool off his chin with the back of his hand. A glance at the others around his table showed mixed expressions of amusement and exasperation but none were surprised. The Captain and Pepper were the only ones shooting him disapproving looks. He just rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He hadn't wanted to come to this fundraiser in the first place. They couldn't expect him to stay awake the whole time as well.

With a sigh, he turned his attention back to the singer on stage. His brow furrowed in confusion as he tilted his head to the side. Was that…no…but…

Leaning to the side, he whispered to Bruce, "That's a man, isn't it?"

Bruce shook his head, "She's wearing a dress, Tony."

"So?"

He just rolled his eyes.

Tony leaned the other way toward Pepper.

"Shh," she hissed before he could even open his mouth.

He pouted but backed off again, studying the she-man instead. No, it was definitely a cross-dresser. He was sure of it. He was much too buff to be a chick. When the performance finally ended, Tony stood with the rest of his table, applauding and calling out, "Bravo!"

Cap frowned at him, "It's bra_va_ for women, Tony."

"I'm aware," he shrugged as everyone returned to their seats and dinner was served, much to Tony's delight. "That's why I said bravo."

Steve sighed and rubbed his temple, "That was a woman, Tony."

"You clearly were a Capsicle for too long if you thought _that_ was a woman."

"It _was_, Tony," Clint chimed in, Natasha nodding enthusiastically beside him.

"I must agree, Man of Iron. That human was male," Thor's thundering voice echoed, making occupants of other tables glance over in alarm. Jane waved them off, used to having to apologize for her somewhat oblivious boyfriend, but she seemed intent to keep out of this argument.

Tony turned to Pepper but she just shook her head, "I'm not getting in the middle of this."

"Neither am I," Bruce said. "I'm not going to take sides."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Whatever. I still say it was a man."

Clint smirked, "If you're so sure, how about putting some money on it?"

"Money? Nah, I have enough of that. How about…the one that loses has to…" He paused to think before leaning forward with a grin and whispering the terms of the bet to his fellow Avengers. The women rolled their eyes and, in tandem, stood to mingle with the crowd. Steve sighed and continued to rub his temple even as his lips twitched. Bruce looked up to the ceiling as if it would hold some sort of explanation to his friend's craziness. Thor was chuckling loudly, thoroughly amused. Clint, however, was smirking as if he knew he was going to win. Tony reached across the table to shake his hand, smirking as well. "Let the best man win, Katniss."

Clint rolled his eyes at the nickname. Glancing behind Tony, he grinned, "Perfect timing."

Tony spun in his seat to see the she-man standing not so far away, chatting with a nice-looking elderly couple. Grinning, he waved him/her over when he/she happened to glance in their direction. A blush rose on the he/she's cheeks but he/she came over anyway.

Tony gave his best million dollar smile, "We just wanted to say how much we loved your performance. We can't stop talking about it."

He/She blushed again and smiled, "Thanks, doll." Another person called _him_ away, leaving the Avengers gaping after _him_.

"Well, I'll be damned," Steve muttered, surprising everyone again. The Captain never swore. Tony couldn't blame him for doing it now, though. That voice had been deeper than the Grand Canyon.

Grinning, he punched the air, "Ha! I win! I so told you!"

A week later, Fury could be seen storming through the halls of SHEILD, muttering under his breath about bets, idiotic children, she-males, and killing a hawk. Nobody mentioned his very pink, _My Little Pony_ eye patch or the words "HAWKEYE WAS HERE" written in Sharpie across his forehead.


	3. Charlie

**So I've decided to make this a gift for my dad's birthday, meaning the chapters will probably be quicker than my other stories, simply because I have to finish it quickly. Sorry to any of you who are waiting for chapters to any of my other stuff. I'll try to work on those as much as possible as well.**

**Disclaimer: Can I at least have Thor? No? :,(**

Of course it was this week. The first week since she came to New York that Thor had to return to Asgard, and she had a stupid dinner with people she knew in college. People she hadn't stayed in contact with for a myriad of reasons. Mainly because she just didn't like them very much. They had called themselves her friends but never hesitated to leave her whenever an "epic party was happening" or tease her with the rest of the student body. Some people never left high school behind.

Jane had agreed to go out with them just to get them off her back. And she had thought she'd have Thor there with her (that'd shut them up quick), though she never did get around to tell him about it. Now she had to go alone. And what was worse, Betty and Veronica (their names were actually Chelsea and Liz, but Jane thought the other names worked better) had canceled at the last minute along with their husbands and Brad Peterson. This wouldn't have been all bad – Jane hardly liked any of them anyway – if it weren't for the fact that it left her alone with Charlie Cooper.

Charlie Cooper had had the biggest crush on her in college. Hardly left her alone, constantly following her around like a lost puppy. It was annoying, to say the least, but she had hoped that now, after so many years, he would have moved on. Going by the gushy e-mail she received when he found out she was coming for the dinner, however, she'd have to say he wasn't over it.

There was no way in hell Jane was going to spend an entire dinner alone with the potential-stalker. But she also couldn't bring herself to bail on him like everyone else had. Sighing, she slouched further into the over-stuffed couch cushions. She really couldn't see a way out of this.

"What's with the long face, little sis?"

Jane looked up at the sound of Tony's voice, fighting a smile. Since she arrived he'd taken to calling her that, simply because she was only female who could speak science with him and Bruce on a regular basis. While they were "science bros", she had become their unofficial "little sis of science". Tony actually had it copyrighted and had t-shirts made.

She sighed as she explained her dilemma, probably going into too much detail, going by the look on Tony's face.

"So," he said slowly, thinking things through, "You don't want to go because he's a creepy stalker from your college years? Then don't go. Problem solved."

"No, that'd be rude, Tony. I already agreed and everyone else already cancelled. It'd look bad if I did too."

They were silent for a long while. Clearly, Tony didn't agree with her way of thinking, but was being nice enough not to push it and was actually trying to help her. Not many people knew how sweet Tony Stark could be when he wanted to be. The grin that was slowly spreading across his face, however, was more than a little troublesome.

"I got it!" He leaned forward, squirming in his seat as though he were an overexcited five-year-old. "Tell him you'll be running late and to pick you up here."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, "How is that going to help?"

"Just do it," he said, standing and strutting out of the room before she could cuss him out for being bossy.

* * *

She did as she was told and called Charlie to tell him to pick her up here. He was far too excited about being able to see where she worked (she failed to mention that she also happened to _live_ in Stark Tower). Then she quickly went back to hiding in the lab with Bruce and Tony.

A few hours later she was still down there, grease somehow making its way to her ratty old shirt even though she never went near any of Tony's machines, too scared she'd break one of them. She was trying her best not to laugh at Tony and Bruce bickering like an old married couple when Jarvis's voice came overhead informing her that Charlie had arrived and Pepper had let him into the living room to wait for her.

Grinning, Tony motioned toward her shirt, "You go get washed up. We'll keep Charlie-boy entertained."

Jane was a little worried by his tone of voice, but what choice did she have? She may have no desire to dress up, but she couldn't go out in grease stains either. She shrugged, taking the stairs two at a time and hurrying down the hall to the room she shared with Thor (when he was here). Quickly, she slipped on a new shirt, not caring that it was just another ratty old piece of cotton, and grabbed the leather jacket Tony had bought Thor for when he had to blend in on Earth. It was about a million sizes too big on her, but the scent that stubbornly clung to it calmed her enough to face Charlie and hopefully not kill him in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

When she skidded into the living room, her boots not giving any traction whatsoever, she froze at the sight in front of her. Charlie had grown up nice, filled out some and didn't have those dorky glasses anymore. But what stopped her dead was the obviously panic-stricken expression on his face and the tiny beads of sweat rolling down his temple. Glancing around, she took in the other Tower residents' positions. Tony was sprawled out across the couch, tumbler of scotch in one hand. Natasha was sitting at the small corner table usually used for poker night, meticulously cleaning one of her guns while Clint perched above her on top of a bookcase. Seriously that guy picked the strangest places to hang out. Bruce was sitting with Tony, watching the news, and generally ignoring the others as usual. Steve was the only one actually looking at Charlie, eyeing him closely as if sizing him up. All the others had small smug smirks on their faces. Clearly, something had happened while she was getting dressed, and knowing Tony, it had been planned all along.

"Hey guys," she said cautiously before turning to Charlie who had jumped a mile in the air at the sound of her voice. "Hey Charlie."

"H-hi, Jane. You look nice," he smiled shakily.

Jane glanced down at her holey shirt and ripped jeans, quirking an eyebrow, "Thanks. I see you met the team."

"Ah, don't be like that, little sis," Tony teased. "You know we're more than a team."

Jane rolled her eyes. Yes, she knew, but honestly it was easier to just introduce everyone as the team. Their real relationships tended to be too complicated and she just really wanted to get the night over with.

Shrugging on Thor's jacket she shrugged, "Whatever. I'll have my phone on me. Call if…" she drifted to a stop as a loud clap of thunder shook the Tower. A grin spread across her face and she bolted for the door to the roof before anyone could mutter another word.

Clint chuckled, making Charlie's eyes shoot up to him anxiously, "So much for your dinner."

"Wh-what do you mean?" Charlie hated that he was stuttering. But damn these guys were freaking _scary_. He watched the news – he knew what they were capable of. And they thought of Jane as family. Their little sister. If she came home with even a hint of the complaints she had back in college, he'd be a dead man.

"You're not very bright are you?" Hawkeye smirked, jumping down from his perch and sauntering closer. "That thunderclap? That would be Thor arriving. Thor, God of Thunder. Jane's boyfriend."

Charlie blinked at him numbly for a long minute before shaking his head, "Nope." He turned and left the Avenger's Tower, not looking back.


	4. Delta

**I'm really not happy with this. It doesn't have much to do with Delta and in all honesty, doesn't even really make much sense to me, but absolutely nothing else came to mind for this chapter. Mostly I just wan to get past it. Feedback would be great.**

**Disclaimer: No Avengers here, sorry.**

He was not afraid of flying. Being suspended thousands of miles in the air in what was more or less a steel cage with a hundred or so innocent bystanders, however, did make him a little nervous. And by little he meant he couldn't sit still in his seat by the window where he could see the plane being fueled. _Delta_ was painted in big blue letters across the side. Tony probably would have insisted on him using the private jet he'd bought for the Avengers, but he didn't know Bruce was leaving. Besides, Tony wouldn't have let him leave anyway, so the point was moot.

But that was the thing. Bruce couldn't stay. Sure, Tony had no problem with the other guy, even went so far as to provoke him. But the others…well, they were still wary. And poor Natasha couldn't even look him in the eye yet without flinching. She probably thought he didn't notice, but he had. Which left him with no choice but this, a plane ticket for the middle of nowhere Africa. Hopefully the others could relax more when he was gone and he wouldn't have the military breathing down his neck.

At the thought, Bruce's hand tightened around the letter he'd gotten about a week ago from Ross. Apparently they were still after him, even after all this time. SHEILD had been running interference so far but there was only so much they could do. It would be better for everyone when he disappeared.

"And where, exactly, do you think you're going?"

Bruce jumped in his seat at the accented voice. Spinning around he found Natasha in her signature tight black suit with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at him. In his periphery he could see people milling about, gawping at her.

"I…I don't…" he stuttered, unsure how to answer. What was she doing here anyway?

"What? You thought Tony wouldn't be able to track you?" she gave a rather unladylike snort. "I wouldn't be surprised if he injected all of us with those trackers they put in dogs."

Bruce fought a smile, fidgeting in his seat. He didn't know how to respond to all that. He didn't even know why she would come after him, or how she suddenly had no problem being around him alone. Well, mostly alone. Surely she had backup hidden somewhere around here. Probably Clint in a vent or something.

She sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly as she came to sit next to him. Right next to him. Barely an inch was between them. After all her avoidance the past couple weeks, she had willingly sat down beside him with no buffer between them whatsoever.

"I'm sorry," she began after a moment, taking him by surprise. The Russian assassin never apologized. "I've been acting rather foolish, haven't I?"

Bruce's brow furrowed, "I don't think so. What are you talking about Natasha?"

She was interrupted by a voice overhead, calling all passengers for his flight. He didn't move, waiting to see what Natasha wanted to say.

"The way I've been behaving around you. How we've all been acting…It wasn't fair to you. You've given us no reason not to trust you or your control over…the other guy."

He snorted, "Doesn't matter. I don't blame you all for being cautious."

"There's cautious then there's paranoid, Bruce. Trust me, I know."

He shook his head slowly, eyes traveling over the dwindling crowd boarding the plane. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Natasha coming to apologize, or the sentiment behind it – clearly all of the Avengers felt bad for their behavior – but there were other, more important reasons for him to leave.

Decided, he took a deep breath as he stood, "Thank you, Natasha. I appreciate the apology, but it doesn't matter. I have to go."

She followed him to her feet, frowning, "Why? Tony – all of us – we're your friends. Why are you running, Bruce?"

"It's not you guys. It's…" he shook his head, inching closer to the gate.

"The other guy?" she guessed. "It's fine, Bruce. We can handle it."

"No. It's not that."

She blinked at him for a second before her hand shot out and snatched the letter still clutched in his fist away from him. His protests died on his lips at her furious expression.

"How long has this been going on?" she hissed.

Unsure why she was angry, but not wanting it directed at him, he quickly answered, "I'm not sure. Mostly SHEILD's been taking care of it. But there's not a whole lot they'll be able to do if Ross decides to…"

Muttering in what was clearly angry Russian Natasha shook her head and grabbed his arm, pulling him along, away from the Delta Airlines plane that was now preparing to take off.

"That bastard isn't going to do anything, Bruce. He'll be lucky if he can walk after I'm done with him.

Bruce's eyes widened with understanding. Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe he didn't have to go hide to make sure everyone he cared about was safe. Going by Natasha's expression and the calm sort of amusement coming from the other guy, Bruce probably wouldn't ever have to worry about that again.


	5. Echo

**Wow! I just got bombarded by people putting this story on their favorites and follows. Thanks so much! That means a lot to me, seriously.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine.**

The cave was pitch black and seemingly endless, the only sound the rhythmic drip of water from somewhere deep inside and the steady breathing of the Avengers as they gathered near the mouth. Steve was eighty percent sure the missing children were being hidden somewhere down here. It was just a matter of finding them.

"Alright, Tony, you lead the way. You'll be able to see the best," Steve instructed while pulling out the small flashlight he and the others had brought along. Tony's suit, however, had night vision (newly upgraded) so he was their best chance for finding those kids. Unfortunately. It wasn't that Steve didn't trust Tony, but the man could still be a bit childish at times and wasn't the first choice to lead missions.

For example, Tony gave Steve a mock salute, sarcastically barking, "Yes, sir," before zooming off faster than anyone could follow. Well, Thor could probably keep up, but the God was smart enough to not try to fly with limited vision.

Steve sighed and waved everyone forward, ignoring Clint's snickers at Tony's antics. They carefully picked their way over the rocky ground further into the cave, getting colder and colder as they went until it felt as though all the warmth had been sucked out of the air. They had to have gone over a mile on a basically downward path before Steve noticed they hadn't had a sign of the children or Tony. A little worry began to niggle at the back of his mind.

Suddenly loud wailing calls began to echo throughout the cave (really it seemed more like a cavern at this point) bouncing off the walls and reverberating in Steve's ears until he winced under the onslaught of noise. Even so, he could pick out at least three different voices, one quite familiar. He sighed, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes as he trudged forward.

Sure enough, as they rounded a final corner, his lone beam of light bouncing off the cavern walls, Steve found Tony, still garbed in his suit, kneeling next to three small children. Tony's faceplate was off and he was showing the kids how to cup their hands around their mouths to make their voices echo.

At first, Steve was a little annoyed. They were sent out on a mission to rescue these children, not play silly games with them in a dark cave that could possibly hold some sort of danger, cave-ins brought on by loud noises being one of them. But then he really looked at Tony. The man's brown eyes were carefully studying the kids as they played and his smile seemed overly cheerful. Steve would never admit that his heart melted, just a little, when it dawned on him. Tony wasn't just playing games. He was distracting the kids, keeping them entertained so they wouldn't be frightened while the others caught up.

"Great of you to join us, Capsicle," Tony drawled, making the kids giggle.

Steve rolled his eyes at the nickname, causing the kids to snicker again, "This all of them."

"Yep," he popped the 'p' as he swung the eldest kid – maybe seven or eight years old – up onto his back as his faceplate came back down. The kid locked his hands around Tony's neck and his legs around his waist, smiling widely. "Now if you'll excuse me, I promised TJ here a ride."

"TJ?" Natasha asked, coming up to pick up one of the smaller children. If there was one weakness the Black Widow had, it was children.

"Tony Junior," Tony deadpanned before taking off back down the cave, the kid squealing in delight the whole way.


	6. Foxtrot

**Okay, so obviously this one is really short. Sorry about that but I really just like this how it is. I don't think it needs anything more. **

**Disclaimer: Bah! Not mine!**

This mission was doomed. Clint didn't mind going undercover with Natasha. They tended to have more fun than necessary when working alone together, but this would not be one of those times.

Why, why, why, why had the bad guy (whoever it was this time) decided to hide out in a _dance competition _of all places? Maybe Clint should just shoot himself in the foot and save himself the humiliation of having to _foxtrot_ a drug lord to death. At least Tony wasn't around to laugh at him, the billionaire taking an extended vacation in the Caribbean with Pepper. In fact, all of the Avengers were conspicuously missing at the moment. Probably a good guess that it had something to do with Natasha being about as good of a ballroom dancer as him and a proclivity to shoot the offending men who dared poke fun at her.

At least that was what he _hoped_ was going on. That hope died the moment they stepped onto the dance floor in Seattle and spotted every single Avenger and their dates watching from a table just off the main floor.

Three steps into the routine Fury had beaten into their heads (and wasn't _that _a surprise. Who knew Fury could dance?) Clint couldn't take the snickering any longer. Natasha seemed just as ready to blow. Catching her eye and shrugging, they both turned in unison, pulling out their weapons (no one would ever be able to tell where exactly they'd been stashing them in the tux and teeny tiny dress) and firing at the man sitting at the back with a dozen or so body guards.

Screaming civilians began to scatter.

The Avengers finished their dessert.


	7. Golf

**Another short one. Sorry. At least this one has some Coulson in it. Hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Not Mine. Never Mine. Now I'm depressed.**

Working with the Avengers was annoying, migraine inducing torment. One that Coulson had sorely missed when he was on his "vacation" after the Battle of Manhattan. He didn't know why, but somewhere along the line that ragtag group of miscreants had become a sort of family to him, and to pretend he was dead and not be able to tell them nearly killed him. For good this time. So he had looked forward to seeing them again. And they had seemed happy to see him as well when he walked back into their lives.

A month later he wanted to throttle every last one of them.

He still loved them, of course, but man, he forgot how much he felt like a babysitter with them around. And Fury questioned why he watched every episode of _Super Nanny_ he could get his hands on.

Still, sometimes he just needed a moment to himself. Or maybe an afternoon. Yeah, an afternoon sounded nice. Though he had doubted he'd get it until one of the other SHIELD agents mentioned wanting to go on a golf retreat of something of that sort. He'd invited Phil, and Phil had readily agreed. Fury was another matter, not believing that the Avengers could stay out of trouble for one weekend without their sitter.

Apparently he had been right.

Phil and Rob had just arrived at the extensive golf course at a fancy resort on the west coast, when a loud shout alerted him to something terribly, terribly wrong a split second before something collided with his side.

"I HAVE FOUND HIM, MAN OF IRON!" Thor's booming voice echoed in his ear as the blonde God lifted Phil off his feet in the biggest bear hug he had ever gotten.

"Good job, Goldilocks," Tony drawled, waltzing up with the rest of the Avengers trailing behind, all dressed for a vacation. Phil groaned inwardly as he was set back on his feet. So much for a relaxing weekend away.

* * *

This was actually incredibly entertaining. Phil was busy attempting – and failing horribly – to teach Thor how to golf without breaking the club. Bruce was surprisingly helpful. But nearby was where the real show was. Apparently Rob wasn't used to oversized toddlers like Phil was and was having a hard time getting Clint and Tony to give him back his equipment. Steve and Natasha were standing nearby, watching the show. Both knew how pointless it was to try to get the two overgrown idiots to behave.

Phil sighed as he watched Clint begin to juggle golf balls, causing Steve (who had yet to comment on the beginnings of chaos around him, surprisingly) to roll his eyes though there was indulgent smiles on his and Natasha's lips. Rob, however, didn't appear as amused. He huffed, shooting glares at the Avengers as he stalked over to Phil.

"What the hell!" he growled. "This was supposed to be relaxing, Phil! Why the hell would you invite the freaks–"

Phil didn't allow him to finish that sentence. No one ever spoke of what happened. Not even in private amongst those who had seen it. _Especially_ not then. Only three things were ever spoken (briefly) about that day. One – a golf club could actually be shoved down a man's throat. Two – Phil Coulson wasn't one of Fury's most trusted agents for nothing. And three – no one ever even _thought_ a bad word about the Avengers in front of said badass agent.


	8. Hotel

**I love and hate this chapter. meh. feedback would be nice.**

**Also, just in case it wasn't obvious, there's no rhyme or reason to these chapters. They're not connected or in any sort of order. Just thought I'd make that clear.**

**Disclaimer: Nope.**

They were quite literally in the middle of nowhere, with no hope of contact to the outside world. Steve didn't think this could get any worse. As if hearing his thoughts and intent to prove him wrong, the sky darkened and a loud thundering boom preceded a downpour of bone-chilling rain. He almost hoped Thor would pop up and save them. At least that would make up for being instantly drenched in a forest he had no idea the exact location of. He sighed as the dark sky remained God-less.

Tony had flown ahead of him in hopes of finding some shelter, leaving Steve alone to trudge through the mud. When Fury had sent them on a solo mission together, with none of the other Avengers as a buffer, to an undisclosed location, Steve had internally groaned, sure the overgrown man-child who called himself a philanthropist would drive him insane within the week. So far, he'd been right. Tony had hardly shut up the entire trip, an Steve was about ready to throw him in the volcano he could see looming in the distance, suit and all.

The small hum that Steve has come to associate with the Iron Man suit in flight reaches his ears a second before Tony lands in front of him with a loud thump, clearly trying to startle the other man. Steve merely raises an eyebrow, forgetting that his helmet hid any such action.

"Oh come on," Tony whines annoyingly. "How'd you know I was coming?"

"Have you found shelter?" Steve asks instead, ignoring his companion's usual childish antics.

He sighed, "Yeah, old man, I found something. You're no fun at all, you know that?"

Again the Captain decided to keep focused, "Good. Lead the way."

He hesitated long enough for Steve to shift worriedly from foot to foot, "You know what? I have a better idea."

"Tony…" Steve trailed off, eyes widening as his partner reached forward, grabbing hold of Captain America's arms before he could say anything and taking off into the air. Steve's shouts of protest went completely ignored. And so, he found himself flying over the solid mass of green trees that made up this anonymous forest. He had to admit, the view was breath-taking, but that didn't stop the uncomfortable-ness of the situation any. Until, that is, Tony called for him to look to the left a little. Steve's eyes widened when he caught sight of the large crumbling building on the side of the (thankfully inactive) volcano. Even in its ruined state, the building held a sort of devastating beauty, the forest around it creeping in and curling around it in a lover's embrace. At least, that's how Steve likes to think of it. He always was a romantic at heart. Something Tony had been known to tease him relentlessly about, so he keeps his observations to himself as Iron Man gently glides through the gaping hole in the side of the building and into what looks like the lobby of an old abandoned hotel.

After being gratefully set back on his own feet, the captain takes a few minutes to get his bearings, brow wrinkling in thought, "Why is there a hotel out here in the middle of nowhere?"

Iron Man landed softly beside him, his faceplate rising as he spoke, "No idea. But I did see a few other smaller buildings scattered around the volcano, so maybe a town or small city was once here."

Steve nodded, glad to see Tony beginning to take this seriously. That coupled with being out of the downpour had the captain's spirits rising considerably. They'd rest there for the night, or at the very least till the rain stopped, an then continue up the mountain. Tony seemed especially relieved when told of the plan, flopping down unceremoniously onto a suspiciously well-kept old-fashioned chaise near an old fireplace in the corner of the lobby. Steve moved to sit across from him, eyes darting to all the shadowed corners, ears strained for the slightest noise beyond the thumping of rain outside. It wasn't that he didn't trust Tony's judgment in fining a safe place to rest. Man-child he may be, but Tony knew what to take seriously when. But the fact was, the place gave Steve the creeps. Maybe he was just getting paranoid. He hoped that was it.

He becomes aware of Tony's eyes on him as he continues to gaze around at their slowly darkening surroundings. It wasn't the first time the scientist took to staring at him for no apparent reason and Steve got the feeling the look was somewhat disapproving. He couldn't understand it, and truthfully, it was starting to irritate him. More than usual. More than any of Tony's other idiosyncrasies.

"Is there something you wanted to say, Iron Man?" he finally hisses through gritted teeth, immediately regretting his tone. It was a bit harsh.

Tony continues to stare, his face visible with the mask still raised, "Just thinking."

Steve sighed, tearing off his helmet and mask and scrubbing a hand down his face, "Do you want to talk about it?" He doubted it. Tony never talked. Oh he said a lot, just nothing of importance.

There was a pregnant pause as Tony thought through his answer, "Just trying to see what fascinated my dad so much. He never shut up about you. Can't see why." It was his usual teasing tone, but Steve could catch the honest curiosity behind the sarcasm. More than that. There was a hint of bitterness cutting into his words. Once again Steve had to wonder what his friend had ended up like after he'd left, to leave his son so affected still, after all these years.

Steve didn't know what to tell him. He himself constantly wondered why Howard would have spoken about him so much, looked for him for so long. "Look Tony," he began slowly, unsure what he was saying.

"Don't," Tony cleared his voice, cutting him off with a wave. "Don't worry about it. You probably don't want to hear from a whiny rich boy like me, huh old man?"

"Stop that, Tony," he shook his head. "This is serious. I don't know what your father told you, but I never wanted him, or anyone for that matter, to…to hero-worship me like that. It's not why I do what I do." He snapped his mouth shut, realizing he sounded a bit preachy – something Tony hated, quite vocally.

"I know that," the other man almost whispered. "I just wanted…when I was younger…I always hoped my dad would one day talk about me the way he talked about you."

Steve's heart broke into a million pieces at the small voice of his normally boisterous friend – because even when he was migraine-inducing-annoying, Tony _was _Steve's friend. Maybe even more so than Howard had been. And to hear that Howard had looked over his own son for an 'American Hero' had to be the worst thing he had ever heard.

"Tony," Steve leaned forward, elbows braced on his knees and waited until his friend was looking him in the eyes. "If your father wouldn't be proud of you, that's his own mistake. Any man would be honored to call you son." Steve smirked slightly at Tony's slightly shocked expression. "And besides, he was exactly like you when I knew him."

Tony snorted and shook his head, "Have to admit, I haven't heard that one before."

Steve merely shrugged, relaxing back in his chair and Tony did the same. A weight seemed to have lifted off the captain's shoulders. He'd finally got to the root of the problem with Tony and the air was clearer between them. Maybe now they could move past Howard's apparent idiocies and start a stronger friendship.


	9. India

**Okay, so this one was weirdly hard for me to come up with, but I really like this one in the end, so it was worth it. Hope you think so too. It's short and vague on purpose. I might come back to this storyline at some other point and explain things, but for know you can imagine what you will whenever I don't explain something. Enjoy =D**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine**

There was a pounding in his head and a ringing in his ears that made it hard to concentrate as he groggily blinked his eyes against the harsh light of day. His first thought was that Tony really was a bastard for making him drink so much, shoving glass after glass of amber liquid into his hand that made a warm feeling spread throughout his body. Frowning, he shook his head. That hadn't been last night. That had been a week ago. Tony had wanted to celebrate…something (really it could have been anything from the opening of his new foundation to Dummy not dropping anything this week, knowing Tony) and had gotten Bruce plastered. Both men had woken in the lab to raging hangovers and a scolding Pepper. Bruce had since declared never to drink with his "Science Bro" ever again. Tony had just laughed.

But then, why did he feel the need to puke while someone played the bongo drums quite loudly in his head? And more than that, why did his body feel so sore? Both very good questions that his mind was presently in no shape to answer.

He worked up the energy to call out to one of his friends/teammates (they'd know what had happened last night) only to find that a large wad of fabric had at some point been shoved in his mouth. Seriously, how had he missed that? Twisting his bound hands around behind his back proved the flicker of a theory that ran through his head, making him groan and drop his head to the ground with an audible thud and a wince. The sound of shuffling footsteps reached his ears, followed by a series of grunted words his still-pounding brain didn't bother translating. He couldn't even tell if the male voices were speaking in a language he could understand. Dirty boots stepped into his field of vision and Bruce tilted his head back to gaze up at his captor. The man was tall and lanky with dark dirty skin and dark eyes. Black curly hair was cut short and he clean shaven. The man turned to speak over his shoulder and Bruce finally recognized the dialect even if he continued to fail to understand what they were saying. Hindu. He groaned, curling his knees up as far to his chest as they could go, finding his ankles tied as well. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

The smell of spices hit his nose as a door opened and closed nearby. Another voice, female this time and much more timid, spoke quietly before retreating the way she came. Bruce couldn't blame her. He wouldn't want to linger either. The captor moved away and the sound of two men scarfing down food rose up behind him, making him long to be back at Stark Tower. At least when he had to hear the guys' bad table manners there, he was surrounded by people he cared for and who cared for him. Not to mention he got to eat too, and he wasn't hog tied on a dirt floor.

As the pounding in his head began to clear, Bruce managed to make out the distant sounds of traffic, horns honking, people shouting, and the smell of Indian food churned his stomach. There was a reason he always refused when Tony suggested Indian as the meal of choice after a big battle. Bruce couldn't stand the stuff, though he still refused to tell anyone why (though he assumed Natasha knew from the sidelong looks he got anytime the subject was brought up and the help in diverting Tony's five second attention span). Now he wouldn't be able to avoid it. Shame and embarrassment tightened in his stomach painfully when he thought of admitting to Tony why he avoided all things Indian. Not that any of the Avengers would judge him. If anything they'd be too sympathetic, too forgiving. He'd long since come to terms with everything the Other Guy did, but the others always seemed to shrug it off, caring but not condemning. But this time, it wouldn't be right. No one should, or could, simply shrug off those horrendous deeds.

Taking a deep rattling breath through his nose, Bruce closed his eyes. He had to calm himself down. He _refused_ to let the Other Guy come out, to give _them_ the satisfaction. He wasn't a puppet anymore, not ever again. He'd rather die than allow them to use him like that again.

A loud explosion rocked the building he was in, causing his eyes to snap open in alarm. His captors had jumped up, abandoning their meal in favor of going to the one small window, guns raised. They had a quick panicked conversation and the first man ran off behind Bruce, reappearing with a sniper rifle tucked under his arm a second later. They set up at the window as another explosion rocked the building. Bruce laid still and prayed to a God he believed long since abandoned him that the explosions came from his team, or at the very least SHIELD. Hell, in that case, maybe he was praying to Thor. Actually, now that he had thought of that, it made sense to pray to the Norse God. At least Bruce knew for sure that he actually existed.

A second later Bruce had to bite down on his gag to keep from laughing hysterically and/or possibly hyperventilating. He had recognized that voice filling the air, telling his captors to stand down. Ross. The last person in the world that Bruce wanted to find him. But the deep cutting voice was abruptly cut off by AC/DC suddenly echoing around as though they were at a concert. Sometimes he really couldn't help but love Tony and his crazy ways.


	10. Juliet

**I always kinda saw Peggy as the Juliet to Steve's Romeo, so while listening to my Glenn Miller CD I came up with this. And let me tell you, THAT WAS AN AWFUL IDEA! Don't get me wrong, I love what came out of it, but the feels! Too many feels!**

**Disclaimer: I tried to kidnap Thor...I don't really want to talk about it...**

He was glad Director Fury had told him about this. It wasn't necessarily protocol, but Steve appreciated it nonetheless. This was his only chance to say goodbye to the people he had once known, to the life he once had. So he had donned his old military uniform, the one from World War Two that had somehow miraculously made it perfectly preserved through the years, and took SHIELD's private jet to the senior's home nestled away in the English countryside.

The staff were falling over themselves to accommodate him as he entered the large mansion-like home. A lot of the women were ogling him, he could tell (living with Tony, unfortunately meant he actually could tell when it was happening now), and he forced himself not to blush under the attention. Instead, he followed the male orderly up the wide staircase and down a hall where a couple elderly folk were sitting and talking quietly together. The old men looked up as they neared and did a double take, jaws dropping. Steve tilted his head respectfully at them, murmuring a greeting before scurrying after the orderly. The last thing he wanted right now was two gossipy old men who wanted to talk to a hero they remembered from their youth.

The orderly stopped in front of a plain white door at the end of the hall and turned towards him, "She's been having a few good days, but still hardly recognizes anyone. Even her own kids and grandkids. Don't feel bad too bad, alright."

Steve nodded, "I understand, sir. I have to try."

The orderly looked him over for a long minute before nodding and knocking lightly on the door. He stepped in and told the inhabitant that she had a visitor, stepping back again to leave Steve with her. The Captain nodded in gratitude, taking off his cover as he entered the room, the door clicking shut quietly behind him.

Peggy sat in a rocking chair beside the window, looking small and frail in her old age, with a record player nearby softly playing Glenn Miller. Her hair had turned thin and wiry, starkly white compared to how it once was. Her skin was aged and wrinkled, her eyes clouded with years or hardship. But despite all this, she was still the most beautiful woman Steve Rogers had ever laid eyes on. Kneeling down at her feet, Steve looked up at her withered face and distant eyes before lying a gentle hand on her clasped ones. Slowly she turned to blink down at him, her expression remaining blank.

A small smile graced his features, "Hey, Peggy. I'm sorry I'm late."

Gradually recognition began to light her eyes and she raised a shaky hand to his cheek. He covered it with his own much larger one, leaning into the touch with a sigh. Gently he took her hand away from his cheek and stood, "I believe I promised the lady a dance."

She smiled weakly, not speaking as she rose unsteadily. He took her arms to help, guiding her to stand closer to him so he could carry her weight, placing one withered hand on his shoulder while the other stayed cradled against his chest. He was secretly pleased that Pepper had shown him to dance months ago when he needed to learn for an important gala event thing that Tony was hosting. At least now he knew he wouldn't step on Peggy's feet. He hummed along to _Moonlight Serenade_ as he carefully maneuvered them in a small circle.

Peggy sighed, laying her head on his chest, "I've missed you Steve." Her voice was small and brittle, a little breathy, lacking the fierce edge it once held while commanding troops, and it made Steve's heart break a little for the woman he used to know.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head, "I missed you too, Peggy."

As the song drifted to an end, she gazed up at him with remarkable clear eyes, "Stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised, continuing to turn them in their simple dance, ignoring the fact that it no longer matched the music.

* * *

Two days later, Peggy Carter (she'd been married, had taken a new last name, but to Steve she'd always be Peggy Carter) died in her sleep, Captain America at her side, holding her hand. Her family had been surprised to say the least. Even more surprised when the Avengers (plus Pepper, Jane, Betty, and Coulson) showed up in support for their leader. Tony gently took the reins from the family and organized a funeral fit for a queen, calling Peggy an honorary Avenger.

The day of the funeral was cloudy, but not raining. The attendees found the Avengers in their Sunday best (Thor wore his usual armor, still not used to Earth's clothing). Steve once more donned his uniform and stood solemn in the background with his friends, not wanting to invade in a private family moment. He moved forward only to place a single white rose on the coffin, inclining his head to Peggy's family in respect before retreating back to the SHIELD cars waiting just outside the graveyard for them. It was time to leave the past behind him and move on. He was just glad he wouldn't have to do it alone.


	11. Kilo

**I really don't know what to say about this one. It's extremely short and pretty stupid really. I just had no clue what to do with Kilo. It's gotta be one of the most boring words on this list. So I changed it into something fun that quickly turned into weird and...I have no idea how to explain it. I'm questioning my own sanity on this one.**

**Disclaimer: Thor ran away again and now I have a huge hole in my wall. Anyone know a good contractor?**

"What the hell are these things?" Natasha yelled over the roar of battle. And really, if something made the Black Widow loose her cool, it was time to panic.

Thor threw his hammer, smashing three large slimy aliens at once before turning to tilt his head curiously at the SHIELD agent, "Do you not know?"

"Would I ask otherwise?" she shot back, shooting down another…thing without turning to look.

"It is a Kilo," Thor said simply with a shrug, grasping one of the relatively smaller creatures by the back of the neck and showing Natasha as if it were obvious.

"Who cares how much it weighs, Goldilocks," Tony's voice filtered through their earpieces. "She asked what it is."

"I do not understand why you wish to discuss weight Man of Iron, however I have told Lady Widow it is called a Kilo."

"Oh," Natasha nodded, gutting one of said Kilos as she spoke. "Kilo is a measurement of weight on Earth Thor."

He nodded in understanding, snapping the neck of the Kilo still in his hand with a simple twist of his wrist. "Kilos are from the planet–" he began to explain before being cut off by Tony.

"No time for show and tell," he said, zooming into view with about three dozen aliens on his tail. "Let's just take care of these nasties and then you can explain over pizza, 'kay?"

Thor grinned at the prospect of eating, jumping back into the battle with renewed vigor.


	12. Lima

**Okay, so I'm really _really_ REALLY doubting my sanity now. Seriously, I have no idea where this came from. ****Clearly this is not what the military had in mind when they chose Lima for L.**** I apologize for my weirdness in the last few stories. Hopefully this won't continue to be a trend.**

**Disclaimer: So this is still not mine, despite my best efforts. **

Damn Loki. Damn him straight to hell. Wait, did Norse Gods have a hell? If not they should. This was all his fault after all and now Pepper was going to kill them when she got back from that conference in Italy.

Clint was absolutely no help, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, suppressing a laugh. Natasha had been called away by Fury for a debriefing and (probably) another mission. Thor was tasked with once again dragging his adoptive brother back to Asgard. Bruce had been called away along with Jane (Betty tagged along just to be with her boyfriend) to some sort of science Expo thing that Tony had been scheduled for but for obvious reasons could no longer attend. So that left Steve to deal with the little…problem.

How this had actually happened was still a mystery. One minute, everything was going well. They had corralled Loki and his new batch of alien minions into a deserted warehouse where they were quickly killing off said minions much to Loki's chagrin. Then out of nowhere, Loki raised his staff high, shouting some words most of them didn't understand but that made Thor's eyes widen in horror. The thunder god launched himself at his brother, but too late. A bright white light encompassed the room for a split second before Thor could tackle his brother to the ground, wrestling away the staff and subduing the trickster.

Steve jumped up from where he'd been knocked back into the wall when he'd used his shield to protect himself from the magic and surveyed the room. Thor seemed unharmed, scolding his brother yet again. Clint and Natasha were propelling themselves down from the ceiling where they had been battling aliens in the rafters. The hulk was the one to draw Steve's attention, hunched protectively over something he couldn't see. But it was the lack of Tony's typical sarcastic remark that had Steve sprinting across the warehouse to the oversized green monster/man. Everyone knew how protective the Hulk had become of Tony. The engineer was the only one who was never afraid of the "Jolly Green Giant" and so had become the Hulk's best friend as well as Bruce's. If there was one thing that would have the Hulk acting like he was, it was Tony.

The Captain stopped a few feet away, waiting for the Hulk to turn to look at him sadly and lower the red and gold suit to the ground. He was forced to rip off the faceplate again to check on the other man only for his eyes to widen in alarm. Clint, who'd been a second behind him, helped him pull open the suit in a hurry. In reality they probably did major damage to the suit in their haste and Tony was going to throw a fit when he saw it, but it hardly mattered at the moment. They had to get Tony back to the Tower and figure out what had happened. Now.

"No," a childish voice barked, snapping Steve out of his thoughts and making him sigh in exasperation.

"You have to eat your vegetables, Tony," he said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Don't you want to grow up to be big and strong?"

The small six year old version of his friend crossed his arms and pouted, "I don't like lima beans."

Clint snickered as Steve sighed again. It had been like this since the child woke up. Why did it have to be Stark that Loki turned into a child? Any of the others would have been better. Well, maybe not Clint, but he digressed. The fact was, now he had to deal with a stubborn, spoiled little boy that was actually far too much like the older version of Anthony Stark, mini arch reactor and all.

"Lima beans are not that bad, Tony. Here, why don't Clint and I have some with you?"

"Hey," Clint snapped, his chuckles dying instantly. "Don't drag me into this. Lima beans are nasty."

Tony gave a small "I told you so" smirk and Steve glared at the archer until he raised his hands in surrender and retreated out of the kitchen. Turning back to the stove, Steve dished out his own serving of lima beans and sat beside Tony, hoping the boy would actually eat as well. It didn't work. Brown eyes watched him as he ate the beans and when he was finished Tony still refused to touch his serving.

"Anthony Stark! You will eat your beans this minute!" And wasn't that the last thing he ever thought he'd say.

Tony lip quivered, eyes watering. Immediately Steve felt horrible. There was no reason to raise your voice to a child. Ever. No matter how stubborn he was. Even if Tony seemed to be a whole new level of stubborn all on his own.

"What is going on in here?" a voice he'd been dreading called from the hall and growing closer, making Steve flinch and Tony brighten. The small boy was out of his seat before Steve could stop him and out the door. There was a small "oof" as he collided with another body and then silence.

"T-Tony?" Pepper asked unsure, still hidden behind the corner.

"I missed you, Pepper!" Tony whined. Well at least he still had some memories left. He seemed to know who they all were even if he didn't know why they were all together or specific evens of his adulthood (thank God for that). "Steve's being mean to me."

Steve groaned. Now he was going to get it. First he allows Tony to get turned into a child and then said child claims he was being mean. Pepper was going to skin him alive. Sure enough, when the woman came around the corner, a smug looking Tony hanging from her hand, she had a glare just for the Captain. At that moment, Steve would much rather be faced with five dozen Nazis by himself then try to explain to Pepper what happened to her beloved boyfriend.

"It was Loki," he hurried launched into the story. "But Thor swore it would wear off by the end of the day. Tomorrow at the latest."

She continued to eye him for a few minutes before nodding once, "Fine. But no more yelling at Tony for any reason while he's like this, alright."

"Yes, ma'am," Steve readily agreed.

"Now Tony, eat your dinner and then we'll have some ice cream for dessert okay?"

The small boy quickly jumped back onto his seat, wolfing down his dreaded lima beans and smiling up at Pepper proudly when he was finished. Steve sighed as he did the dishes. Why hadn't he thought of that?


	13. Mike

**WE ARE HALFWAY THROUGH PEOPLE!**

**I really thought this one was gonna be longer, but I really liked where it ended and I didn't want to babble, so yeah.**

**Disclaimer: This is not mine, according to Fury. He's much more intimidating in person.**

Clint was a very private person, obviously. It was strange to have anyone know anything personal about him, Nat being the exception, of course. That fact didn't change when he joined the Avengers. Sure, he considered the team his closest friends. He'd die for them and vice versa. Hell, they almost had on quite a few occasions. But that didn't negate all of his secretive and evasive habits.

So he was more than a little surprised to find out Tony knew his birthday, or that he was planning a huge party to celebrate. He really shouldn't have been (this was Tony he was talking about) but he was. It was even more surprising when the limo Stark shoved them all into pulled up outside a semi-rundown basketball stadium. Clint had never given any hint that he loved basketball, not even to Nat. Or at least he thought so. Apparently he was wrong.

"What are we doing here, Tony?" he asked, a little hesitantly.

The billionaire grinned as the other Avengers followed him onto the middle of the court, "Just wait."

He shifted on his feet, feeling oddly self-conscious. He couldn't remember the last time he felt like that. He didn't like it.

"Tony…"

"So who was your favorite player again?" Tony asked casually.

"How'd you even find out I like basketball?"

He smirked, "Favorite player?"

Clint sighed, eyeing the other man for half a minute before deciding to throw caution to the wind. This was Tony, his teammate. The man who allowed the Avengers to, more or less, take over his tower in New York as their own personal headquarters and home. He would never betray the trust of his team. Though God only knew why he wanted to know who Clint's favorite basketball player was.

"As a kid, I always really liked Michael Jordon. Why?"

Tony's grin widened, "Good. I got it right."

"What are you…" Clint trailed off as his eyes widened.

"Mr. Barton?" the deep voice of the new comer asked with a smile. "An honor to meet you. Mr. Stark asked me to come down here to meet you for your birthday."

A hand suddenly clapped Clint hard on the shoulder, "Happy Birthday, Robin Hood."


	14. November

**So I got a prompt from Sandy-wmd, who wanted the Avengers celebrating Thanksgiving, though this doesn't really cover the celebrating part and is really more of a character study. Oh well. I was asked to have them celebrating Oktoberfest. I'm working on that and that will go up as a separate one shot, but it'll be a lot of fun. Keep an eye out for that.**

**For now, I hope you like this Sandy-wmd!**

**Disclaimer: I saw Thor on the Graham Norton show the other night...my mom yelled at me for kissing the TV. Still not mine.**

Family wasn't something she ever remembered having. As far as she knew she had always been on her own in one way or another. Until Clint, that is. He picked her up, dusted her off, and dragged her home with him. Though, 'home' was a relative word for him as well. He dragged her to SHIELD, anyway, and they'd been partners and friends ever since. Still not really a family, but if you squinted and cocked your head to the side, just so, it could maybe, possibly, kind of, resemble a family-like structure. Fury – obviously the tough-love dad. Coulson – the indulgent, loving, but still kind of strict (when he wanted to be) uncle. And Clint…well, she never knew quite how to label her relationship with him. It was complicated.

Enter the Avengers. When she first went undercover to scope out Tony Stark, she never would have thought that she would ever grow to be as close to him as she has. Or that she would get a plethora of other men to take care of and be cared by. But she has.

Tony really was like that know-it-all brother who liked to strut around and show off and teased his 'siblings' for every little thing but would secretly do little things to show he cares. Like sitting with her late at night when the nightmares got really bad. He wouldn't say a word. He just sat down with her on the couch, passed over whatever alcohol he happened to have on hand and allowed her to soak in the safe feeling of having him close, protecting her. He never talked on nights like that, but there would always be some way he'd show that he trusted her. Like when Pepper was away and the Arch Reactor needed maintenance. It was Natasha that he called down to the lab to help, to pull out the reactor and replace it with the new and improved one. She really hoped she never had to do that again, but it was nice to know he trusted her above everyone else with something so sensitive.

Along with Tony, naturally came Pepper. Natasha's relationship with the woman had started out rocky when it was clear Tony had originally been attracted to her. Though at the time that had been her intention, the Russian still felt bad about driving a bit of a wedge between the obviously madly in love couple. It got better after a while, as Natasha helped keep Tony's business afloat while he cured himself. Once everything was out in the open, and Natasha revealed who she really was to Pepper, they got along a lot better. She considered Pepper her best friend, and maybe even an older sister type, being able to tell the other woman anything without the fear of judgment. Pepper really was a beautiful soul.

And then there was Bruce. Ah, sweet Bruce. He was kind of like another father figure, or maybe an uncle. Well, maybe not that. He was always there for a shoulder to cry on and an open mind, but she had helped him just as much as he helped her. She still felt shame festering in her gut at how they had originally treated him after the Battle of New York. It had been inexcusable, but he'd gracefully accepted her apology. Though he did talk her out of kicking Ross's ass, telling her she would cause a lot of trouble and a lot more paperwork than necessary if she did. (She _really_ hated paperwork.) Huh. Maybe he was the level-headed, wise father of the group, after all.

Steve had come on the scene rather quietly for her, considering the ways she was introduced to the other Avengers. One minute she was listening to Coulson gush on and on about Captain America and the next she was meeting the guy. He was pretty cute, in the Disney Prince kind of way, and one of the most polite people she'd ever spoken to in her life. It kind of made her wish she could travel back in time to live when he did, even with the war. However, he was a great soldier, no matter what time period. She felt almost honored fighting with him. But it wasn't until after the dust had settled and the team fell into a sort of normalcy that Natasha really got to know the man, got to understand how confused the poor guy was around all technology and advances he'd skipped over. Not to mention how people interacted now. Tony liked to poke fun at him, but Natasha tried to help him as much as she could, sit down with him and talk him through whatever had him stumped as any big sister would do a younger brother.

Thor was definitely the baby of the family, always following one of them around, being too loud and nosy, asking endless questions when the answers seemed so obvious to everyone else. Half the time Natasha wanted to bang her head against the wall in frustration, while the other half she wanted to cuddle him close and coo over him like he was a helpless puppy. (And really, everyone agreed that he pretty much was.) So it was hard to refuse anything he asked for. Even when that meant taking him to the "adorable themed play land for adult" also known as Disneyworld. Really, they should have thought that one through more. Though, Natasha can't regret being able to dress up as a princess (something her sketchy-at-best childhood didn't allow) and having Thor twirl her around in front of Cinderella's castle while Clint filmed it all on his phone. If anyone could bring out the Russian assassin's inner child, it was definitely the God of thunder. And how ironic was that?

So yeah, they were all very close. And for once, Natasha got to feel like she was part of something that she always, deep down, yearned for. A family. A chaotic, strange, complicated one, but a family nonetheless.

The first year they were all, officially, living in Avengers Tower together, (including Jane and Betty) was epic when it came to the holidays. Tony really went all out on the Fourth of July, shooting the biggest and brightest fireworks she'd ever seen from the roof just for them as they all huddled together in blankets on the helipad Thor used when he came back from Asgard. Halloween was the next big one, the entire tower basically being redone into a haunted house. It was more annoying than anything, having things jump out at you at random moments. Pepper nearly chopped Tony's head off for doing _something_ to the toilet. No one had yet to discover what that something was. All bathrooms were now off limits to any and all holiday or non-holiday themed pranks and/or decorations.

But there was on holiday (okay Christmas too, but that was later) that Natasha was really looking forward to. Thanksgiving. Now that she had a sort of make-shift family, Natasha was determined to have a good old-fashioned Thanksgiving dinner with turkey and pie and cranberry sauce and whatever else there was supposed to be. She may not be technically American, but that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy herself. And besides, Thor wasn't even from Earth, so it hardly mattered.

Everyone was game for having dinner together, including Fury and Coulson. No one knew how Natasha had managed to wrangle those two into it, and she wasn't telling. Pepper sweetened the deal by offering to host it at the cabin in Connecticut that Tony had bought her the past Christmas.

So the second to last week of November found the Avengers and their loved ones, standing around the living room of the large cabin (which was more like a mansion) arguing over who got what room. Natasha just sat back in the armchair by the fire with a smug smile on her face. This was her family. And she couldn't be happier.


	15. Oscar

**Originally this was supposed to be longer with more Clint/Oscar bonding and maybe I'll go back and do that later, but for now I'm tired and I have work in an hour, so this is what you get.**

**Disclaimer: Wasn't mine an hour ago, isn't mine now.**

It was all Darcy's fault really. And Jane's. And Thor's.

Darcy was the on to buy the damn thing in the first place. Jane was the one to offer to watch it when Darcy's grandmother got sick and she absolutely _had_ to go take care of the old woman. And Thor was the one who decided now was the time to whisk Jane away to Asgard to meet the parents. Leaving the little…thing with the remaining Avengers in the tower. Unfortunately there weren't that many Avengers present at the moment. Tony and Bruce had gone to some science-y expo. Nat was away on a mission. Steve had gone MIA, isolating himself away from the others since Peggy's death. And who knew where Betty and Pepper were right now. That left Clint to deal with the…thing.

"It's just a puppy, Clint," Jane said, dropping the round ball of white and black fur into his arms. "It'll be fine. Just give him some water and food tonight, take him for a walk, and play with him for a little. He'll probably pass out soon anyway. Thor got a little carried away with him earlier. And Tony and Bruce will be home tomorrow."

The archer sighed, staring down into big brown eyes as the puppy cocked his head curiously at him. Jane took that moment to rush out and join Thor out on the helipad before he could argue further.

Clint moved to the living room, dumping his charge on the couch before flopping down himself. He glanced down at the fur ball as it made itself comfortable against his thigh, stretching out before yawning and dropping into unconsciousness almost instantly.

He chuckled, scratching the dog behind his ear, "I guess you're not so bad," he checked the metal tag dangling off the dark blue collar, "Oscar."

The next day Clint decided he really was a dog person as he and Oscar ran away from a shrieking Tony who had just found a doggy do-do in the boot of one of his suits.


	16. Papa

**Ok, I am clearly moving away from canon in this one, just to let you know. This chapter is a mix of adorable and sad, just as a heads up. **

**Disclaimer: Thor refuses to come back home with me. Apparently I can't own a Norse God. Shows how much he knows.**

The whole building was very, very white. It smelled almost too clean. Thor didn't like it. Surely there was a better place than this for Jane to go. But it was too late. The deed was done. He still felt shame that he had not been able to accompany her during this time, but Lady Pepper, who had been with Jane the entire time, assured him that everything had gone well and Jane understood his need to be in Asgard. Still, he vowed to make it up to his future Queen someday.

"Come on, big guy," Man of Iron clapped his shoulder before leading him down a hall, both ignoring the gaping of the surrounding people. "Pep said it's down this way."

He followed his fellow warrior down a winding hallway until they reached double doors with small windows to peer inside. Lady Pepper stood to one side with the Lady Widow. Both women looked up as the Man of Iron pushed open the doors and waved the God through.

"Thor," Pepper smiled reached for his arm to lead him down the hall, leaving the other two behind. "Jane's been asking for you."

"Thank you for staying with her, Lady Pepper," Thor murmured, feeling shy and nervous.

"No problem," she smiled again, stopping outside of a door to press a kiss to his cheek. "She's just in here. Good luck."

Thor nodded and waited for Pepper's footfalls to fade before taking a deep breath and entering the room. The large square space was mostly taken up by the bed in the middle of the room that immediately stole Thor's attention, making him blind to the rest of his surroundings. Jane lay amongst the pillows, tired but happy, smiling down at the bundle of pink blankets held in her arms. Her eyes flicked up at the sound of the door opening and her smile broadened.

"Thor."

"Jane," he whispered in awe, drawing near to press a kiss to her forehead. "How are you?"

"Tired," she chuckled. "But good. We're both good. Here. Meet your daughter, Astrid."

Thor carefully took the tiny baby into his arms, staring with wide eyes at Astrid. She snuffled, snuggling closer to her father. Tears of joy prickled at his eyes as he bent his head, pressing his lips gently to what little hair she had and nuzzling her plump little cheek.

"She is beautiful," he murmured, glancing up to find Jane had fallen asleep. Smiling, the God of Thunder settled into the chair pulled up beside Jane's bed, cuddling his child to his chest.

* * *

Tony never had a very good relationship with his father, so when Pepper had told him she was pregnant, the first thing he did (after Pepper had fallen asleep that night) was go binge drinking. How the hell was he supposed to be a dad? He didn't even know what one looked like! The next morning, after downing a few painkillers for the hangover he decided the first thing he needed to do was stop drinking. That probably wasn't something a kid needed to see. During the whole pregnancy, though, Tony continued to work himself into a panic about his imminent fatherhood. It hadn't taken long after Pepper, exhausted from bringing a life into the world, had handed over the little pink baby that Tony had finally understood. He'd be a better dad than his father, simply by being there.

"Daddy!" a tiny voice called out, making him smile. He turned to see his little three year old son charge into the lab, toy hulk held tightly to his chest.

"Hey, buddy," he chuckled as he tossed the boy into the air the way Pepper hated. "What's up? I thought Aunt Natasha was supposed to be taking you shopping."

The little boy wrinkled his nose in distaste but didn't comment. It wasn't unusual. Actually him not talking ever wasn't unusual. According to the doctors, the little progress he had was impressive for Autistic children. Tony didn't care one way or another, as long as he was happy.

"Okay, so no shopping," he grinned at the beaming smile on Parker's face. "Wanna help daddy piece together the engine to the jag again?"

Parker nodded enthusiastically, taking off towards the cars the minutes his little feet touched the ground. He seemed to have a natural instinct to taking electronics apart and putting it back together perfectly, something Pepper blamed Tony for naturally. It'd been a few months since Tony had allowed the little boy to help with the bigger machines, much to Parker's delight.

The elder Stark made his way after his son, peace enveloping his lab as usual when the boy was present. They may still have a few problems, Tony was far from perfect after all, but he thought he made a pretty good father. Better than his own, anyway.

* * *

No one was surprised when Clint and Natasha got together. Even fewer were surprised when the Widow became pregnant. They were, however, quite shocked to hear that they were expecting twins, Nikolai and Anton. And even more shocked a few years later when Natasha announced that she was pregnant. With twins. Again. And Clint was "going to take care of the problem if he ever wanted to have sex again". They named their twin girls Danika and Karinna and Clint was no longer able to reproduce.

"Niko! Anton!" Nat yelled from the door way, holding one year old Dani while Karinna held her free hand. "Get back from that ledge! I don't care if your father likes to hang out out there or not!"

"Yes, mama," they intoned regretfully before both five year olds sulked back to their mother's side.

"Speaking of which, where is your father?"

Both boys giggled before looking up. Nat sighed and twisted her head around to look up at the very top of Avengers Tower. Sure enough Clint was perched in his usual spot overlooking the city, looking like the big bird he was named for.

"Clint!" Nat smirked when Hawkeye visibly flinched, almost falling off the ledge. All four of their children giggled at the sight. "Get down from there!"

Half a beat later her husband stood sheepishly before her, his sons attempting to scale their father. They were far too similar to Clint. At this rate she was sure to have a heart attack before their sixth birthday.

* * *

After he was woken decades away from where he should be, after Peggy died, Steve was sure he would never feel what he had for her ever again. And then he met Sarah. She was sweet and caring and a little naive. According to Tony, she was exactly like Steve himself.

He was in over his head before he knew it, and he couldn't be happier. It wasn't until a few months after dating that she invited him over to her home, a nice little apartment not far from Broadway, where she worked as an actress/singer. He was shocked, to say the least, to find that she had a six-year-old son named Tommy. After the initial shock wore off, however, and Steve got to know Tommy, he wasn't ashamed to say he loved the little boy as much as his momma. Quickly, Steve became the only father figure Tommy had, his biological father having given up all parental rights.

"Looking good, Tommy," Steve grinned, helping the now seven year old boy fix his tie.

Hazel eyes slanted up to study the much larger man. It wasn't uncommon for him to study Steve like that, so the Captain ignored it, knowing the boy would say whatever he needed eventually.

"Do I have to call you dad?" a small voice asked finally.

Kneeling down, Steve cleared his throat, "Listen Tommy, I'm marrying your mom today, but that doesn't mean you have to call me dad. I'm fine if you want to keep calling me Steve, okay?"

The boy blinked at him, "But what if I want to call you dad?"

Steve choked up, tears coming to his eyes as he hugged his not-so-distant-future son, "I'd love that. But only if you want to."

He felt him nod, little arms circling his neck, "Okay, Dad."

* * *

Betty had always wanted a child. So they had tried. Against his better judgment he had agreed to try for a child, because that's what she wanted, what made her happy. She didn't care that the baby may end up like him. End up a monster. It would be theirs and that's all she cared about.

She was so excited when the test came back positive, and even Bruce had to admit, he was really happy. For once everything seemed to go their way. The entire pregnancy was normal, absolutely no problems whatsoever. It wasn't until the due date approached that trouble reared its ugly head. The baby, a girl, didn't survive the birth. Betty almost didn't make it either.

After that they stopped trying, unable to cope with the idea of something that tragic happening again. Bruce rarely left the lab, sequestering himself off from the world until finally Betty came down, large packets of paper in her arms and a plan.

Mere months later (Tony helped push their applications through) that Bruce and Betty brought their new daughter into Avengers tower to be welcomed by their friends and their families.

"What's your name?" Niko, always straight forward, asked the shy two year old clinging to Bruce's leg.

After glancing up at her new daddy, the little girl answered, "Carly."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Niko," he smiled. "This is my brother, Anton and our sisters…"

Bruce turned away from where Niko was introducing the rest of the "baby Avengers" to Carly. Betty met his eye and he grinned. Maybe they had lost a child, but that didn't mean they didn't have family.


End file.
